Redaction en anglais

[Magalie0011]

Bonjour,

Je dois faire un commentaire sur une image en anglais. Il s'agit d'une image venant de "wemedia.com". Il y a un homme d'affaire dessus en fauteuil roulant. Il y a un slogan " I don't want your pity. I want the job"

Voilà ce que j'ai fais :

The document we have to study is a ad.This ad comes from "wemedia.com". In the middle ground, we can see a businessman on a wheelchair. In the background, there are too businessmans but not in wheelchair. The slogan of this ad is " I don't want your pity. I want the job".
The challenge of this association is to offer access to the best jobs for people with various disabilities. I think the ad wants to show what that the man is in the work's world ( his smoking) but not his disability ( the wheelchair).

The ad emphasize on the man's competences thanks to his smoking with the tie. He looks too serious and forceful. I think he has done a economy study for to find a good job. Maybe, he has a good potential for to do a very good career. Probably, he is a full citizen.
But, for stupid people, this manking people have mental handicap while they are just natural handicap. We don't need legs for to be a businessman.
Some boss don't want to hire disability personn because of them wheelchair.
It is unfer discrimination. It is immoral.

Because the handicap personn deserve recognization because they fight day after day for succeed in life. They are more courageous than natural people.

Some people think that the disability person haven't a good health. But, it is faulse. They can't walk only. They can to work in the business as everybody.
The physical handicap is very important for the concern people. The "normal" people , the bos of the firm don't succeed at insert into his firm. While maybe, they are as competent as a ability person.

If they haven't associations as "wemedia.com", there won't develpment against them integration in the work's world.
We must do that the business world is access to everybody. Often, some people have pitied of disability people, but they doesn't open the posibility of work.
They engage soul-searching in relation to them competences.
But, the disability people don't want the pity but they want a job.

I think that the ad transmit a very important message. It consern everybody.
The "normal" personn should to stop to have a bad prejudice above the disability people and their open the posibility of work as no matter who.


Est ce que vous pouvez me dire se que vous en penser ? Et me corriger les fautes aussi svp ?

Je vous remercie de votre aide

[Tesla]

Salut,

Je suppose que ad = advert ?
Quelques fautes en vrac

Bonjour,

Je dois faire un commentaire sur une image en anglais. Il s'agit d'une image venant de "wemedia.com". Il y a un homme d'affaire dessus en fauteuil roulant. Il y a un slogan " I don't want your pity. I want the job"

Voilà ce que j'ai fais :

The document we have to study is a (an) ad.This ad comes from "wemedia.com". In the middle ground, we can see a businessman on a wheelchair. In the background, there are too (two) businessmans (businessmen) but not in (a) wheelchair. The slogan of this ad is " I don't want your pity. I want the job".
The challenge of this association is to offer access to the best jobs for people with various disabilities. I think the ad wants to show what that (incorrect, enleve that) the man is in the work's world (c'est pas bien formulé, working world est mieux mais la façon dont est construite la phrase me parait bizarre) (his smoking) (tuxedo) but not his disability ( the wheelchair).

The ad emphasize on the man's competences (skills) thanks to his smoking with the tie. He looks too serious and forceful. I think he has done a economy study for to (pas correct, enleve le to) find a good job. "I think he took a degree in economy in order to find a good job" ME semble plus correct

Je m'arrête la mais il y a encore pas mal de petites fautes du même genre ci-dessous.

Maybe, he has a good potential for to (pareil que plus haut) do a very good career. Probably, he is a full citizen.
But, for stupid people, this manking people have mental handicap while they are just natural handicap. We don't need legs for to be a businessman.
Some boss don't want to hire disability personn because of them wheelchair.
It is unfer discrimination. It is immoral.

Because the handicap personn deserve recognization because they fight day after day for succeed in life. They are more courageous than natural people.

Some people think that the disability person haven't a good health. But, it is faulse. They can't walk only. They can to work in the business as everybody.
The physical handicap is very important for the concern people. The "normal" people , the bos of the firm don't succeed at insert into his firm. While maybe, they are as competent as a ability person.

If they haven't associations as "wemedia.com", there won't develpment against them integration in the work's world.
We must do that the business world is access to everybody. Often, some people have pitied of disability people, but they doesn't open the posibility of work.
They engage soul-searching in relation to them competences.
But, the disability people don't want the pity but they want a job.

I think that the ad transmit a very important message. It consern everybody.
The "normal" personn should to stop to have a bad prejudice above the disability people and their open the posibility of work as no matter who.


Est ce que vous pouvez me dire se que vous en penser ? Et me corriger les fautes aussi svp ?

Je vous remercie de votre aide

[Magalie0011]

I think the ad wants to show what that (incorrect, enleve that) the man is in the work's world (c'est pas bien formulé, working world est mieux mais la façon dont est construite la phrase me parait bizarre) (his smoking) (tuxedo) but not his disability ( the wheelchair).


Par rapport à ceci, en fait, je voudrais dire que l'image met en avant le côté homme d'affaire grâce au costume, que plutôt l'handicap qu'a cet homme. Mais je vois pas comment le formuler.

Vous pouvez m'aider svp ?