Petite Correction D'un Petit Texte En Anglais

[chacha7611]

Bonjour à tous, j'ai un petit travail en anglais à rendre et si vous pouviez y jeter un rapide coup d'oeil pour m'éviter certaines fautes qui ferait bondir ma prof, cela serait super sympathique ;)
Merci d'avance,
Have Fun

This article deals with the problem of children who do not like very much school. Indeed, children tell that school is not their thing, they do not want to be identified as being good at it. In spite of their parents said:” if you do not work well at school, you will not have a good job and a great family life”.

The school chief of New York City has decides to launch a multimedia campaign with celebrity to encourage children to work more at school. Indeed, 15,000 middle-schoolers from higher poverty neighbourhoods will be given cell phones. And they receive some message of well-to-do men and women who work as dentists, scientists…Teachers can also remind them their homework or the date of a test. And if a child improves his marks at school, he can be rewarded by free minutes on his phone or tickets to shows and sporting events.

But this practice is not new. In Los Angeles, an advertising agency puts in place a campaign to lower the dropout rate from 25 percent to 20 percent by the end of the year. They use the radio by sending message on hip-hop stations and children can see on Youtube some videos which encourage them to go to school until high school graduates.

Some experts, think of these projects can have a huge effect. The advertising about drunk driving or the dangers of illegal drug use enabled a decrease of this behaviour, why not it does not work with school?
Nevertheless, we can think of these practise show the school as a marketing place and children will not make the difference between their culture and the consumption of products like soda, video games…

Moreover, United States are not the only one which encounter this problem. In Europe, there is the same thing, and some European countries try to resolve it. We can take the example of Spain, where a mayor of a small town in the centre of the country, named Noblejas, recommending the town's children be given a euro - the equivalent of $1.50 - for every hour they spend reading in the local library. It highlights the fact that, nowadays children prefer playing with video games, watching T.V. instead of reading or learning for their education.

But it is not a secret for no-one, humans and particular adults are sluggard, when they can not work, they do not hesitate to do other things. They function with a nick like a bonus at their job. And for children, in primary school some rewards exist like “good mark” or pictures for the best, does not it?

[_-Gaara-_]

Salut

alors voilà :

This article deals with the problem of children who do not like school very much . Indeed, children tell that school is not their thing, they do not want to be identified as being good at it (tu veux dire quoi par là ? ), Even if their parents tell them : ” if you do not work well at school, you will not have a good job nor a great family life”.

The school chief of New York City has decided to launch a multimedia campaign using a celebrity to encourage children to work more at school. Indeed, 15,000 middle-schoolers from higher poverty neighbourhoods will be given cell phones. And they receive some message of well-to-do men and women who work as dentists, scientists…Teachers can also remind them their homework or the date of a test. And if a child improves his marks at school, he can be rewarded by free minutes (à reformuler) on his phone or tickets to shows and sporting events.

But this practice is not new. In Los Angeles, an advertising agency puts in place a campaign to lower the dropout rate from 25 percent to 20 percent by the end of the year. They use the radio by sending message on hip-hop stations and children can see on Youtube some videos that encourage them to go to school until high school graduates.

Some experts, think these projects can have a huge effect. The advertising about drunk driving or the dangers of illegal drug use enabled a decrease of this behaviour, why not using the same technique in school allowing pupils to get more involved in learning ?
Nevertheless, we can think these practices will turn schools in a marketing place and children will not make the difference between their culture and the consumption of products like soda, video games…

Moreover, the United States is not the only country which encounters this issue. In Europe, there is the same issue, and some European countries try to solve it. We can take the example of Spain, where a mayor of a small town in the centre of the country, named Noblejas, recommending the town's children be given a euro - the equivalent of $1.50 - for every hour they spend reading in the local library. It highlights the fact that, nowadays children prefer playing with video games, watching T.V. instead of reading or learning for their education.

But it is self-evident, humans and particular adults are sluggard, when they can not work, they do not hesitate to do other things. They function with a nick like a bonus at their job. And for children, in primary school some rewards exist like “good mark” or pictures for the best, doesn't it?


Ton texte est pas mal mais il faudrait quand même revoir quelques trucs =)


Sinon je crois que c'est bon.

Tu me diras la note hein ? :we: :++: :++:

[chacha7611]

Ok merci bien a toi GAara,
Pas de pb pour la note,
Have a good day,

[_-Gaara-_]

De rien =)

Take care